165 pounds is a particularly meaningful weight for me because I it is the lowest weight I recall ever being in my adult life. However, my experience of it is different than it was then.

It truly does make a difference how the weight is lost. The body I arrived at back then, when I was 20 and doing more drinking than eating, and the body I have arrived at now at 33 with a very healthy and substantial but moderate diet and regular exercise habits. I didn’t like my body then. Photos showed me looking prematurely older than my age and my mind was not kind toward my physical being. At 165 I was still fat in my mind, because I was at the top of the BMI chart for “normal” – which obviously meant fat – and because I had a lot of other things going on in my life that were too painful to think about. It was easier to think about being fat and not eating to fix that than it was to think about problems that could not be fixed.

Now at 165 I am thin. I am very satisfied with my body as it is right now. And I am comfortable and trust my own judgement over any chart. And I trust myself to do the right thing toward myself and I accept that some things cannot be fixed, and some questions do not have answers.

My measurements at 5’8″, 165 lb are bust 37″-waist 28″-hips 38″. People frequently guess my weight to be 135-140. Its interesting how off people’s perceptions of weight are. And how different each person can look at different weights.

165 lb is just a number, and I really did not find myself jumping for joy at seeing it on the scale. It’s nice, but it’s not a big deal and not all that important. I am happy I see that now. It makes life make a lot more sense overall.

3 thoughts on “165

  1. I love reading your blog. I too am quickly heading towards 33 and aiming for my 23 yr old weight of 160. I’ve still got a long way to go but your example is so inspiring. I know I can do this. So thank you and congratulations on being the person you want to be. 🙂

  2. The only important think, as you very well know now at your 33, is filling ok with yourself, no matter the weight.

    Congrats on that special feeling. Enjoy your life.

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