No More Negativity

You reap what you sow.

If you approach a task, event, or experience with negativity, you are far more likely to get back negativity.  You really do create your own experience with your attitude.

I’ve heard this a million times, but I only recently realized how true it is.  Since I have settled into maintaining my weight and especially since I’ve been taking yoga, I feel like I have finally slowed down after running a long race and I have time to contemplate what I learned along the way and how things are different now.

“Cynical” and “sarcastic” are two words I would have used to describe myself for most of my life.  Somehow, I never realized that it was a defense mechanism. Letting people know that I care about something makes me very vulnerable.  What if they ridicule me?  It hurts so much more when it’s something I really care about.  It’s so much easier to crack a snarky or self-deprecating joke.  So much easier to make a sarcastic comment.

I’ve realized that I’ve changed immensely and I don’t remember ever deciding to be different.  It just happened.  I feel like in a lot of ways I’m more serious about everything.  My immediate reaction isn’t to make a cynical or sarcastic remark, but rather to give my honest opinion.  That isn’t to say my opinions are all positive, because everybody is irritated and disappointed in some things.

Today, I will call myself an Optimist.  In the past I would have called myself a Realist, which actually meant a Pessimist because my overall attitude was “Reality Really Sucks.”  Don’t get me wrong, some stuff most certainly does actually suck.  But that needn’t cast a shadow on everything else in life.  It doesn’t make any sense to allow it to.

When you focus on all of the negative things that are happening or have happened in life, to the exclusion of everything else, you don’t allow any room for anything else.  You close yourself off.  Even good things that come your way are looked at in a suspicious and distrustful light.  You sabotage relationships and opportunities.  If all you are looking for is negativity, negativity is all you will find.

So what if we look for positivity instead?

Life is always going to have ups and downs, sorrows and joys, successes and failures.  For every sad and terrible thing that happens, we feel anger and sadness intensely.  But do we celebrate the wonderful and joyous things with equal enthusiasm and dedication?  We allow a bad day to mar the days following it.  But do we allow a good day to brighten the following days?  The way we experience everything can become unbalanced when we give more power to negativity than it deserves.

What if instead of thinking about how long and hard it is, we think about all the new things we learn along the way.  What if we focus on the good things when they happen and let the bad things roll off our backs?  What if we expect that we will succeed, we will make it, it will be worth it?  If all you are looking for is positivity, what will you find?

12 thoughts on “No More Negativity

  1. Wow. This was the “Hey! Wake up, the coffee smells great!” moment I needed. I’ve been going great guns for the last 6 months (I’m half-way there), but I’ve been feeing a bit worn down and doubtful. I know this feeling all too well; it’s when I start to revert back to the couch and watch all my hard work disappear.

    Instead, I’m going to look forward to my workout and remember all the things I struggled with 6 months ago and now take for granted.

    Today I will call myself an Optimist, too. Thanks!

  2. K8- thanks so much! This is what I needed to hear today!!!

    So today, I too will look out my window and say “woohoo! The sun is shining! What a great day to be a healthier me!!”

  3. Great post! Instead of thinking negatively: sucks that it may take me 2 years to reach my goals, I am trying to think positively: how wonderful it will feel to be at my goals in 2 years when I turn 40.

    1. The two years are going to pass either way, right? May as well look back on accomplishment than wish you started sooner! (BTW, it took me over 2 years to lose all the weight I wanted to lose. It can be fun and educational if you let it!)

      1. Exactly! And, thinking of it the other way could certainly result in getting to the goal fast, only to gain it back by 40, right?

  4. Great post Kate. I also spent most of my life coming from a place of cynicism and negativity. Finally after almost 2 years of changing my lifestyle and committing to fitness and health, i have been able to also change my mindset to be more positive. It is so wonderful and freeing. So happy you are sending this message out to all your many readers!!

  5. Interesting how you don’t really ‘remember deciding to be different’.

    I think when we have a negative self image, we project that in our attitudes towards life and others. How often have we ‘fatties’ been the laughing pessimist? “Ho ho ho, no not for me. Ha ha ha, too hard, never going to happen.”

    Physical change is a wonderful thing and engenders a mental change. Sure we still have our bad days, I’ve just turned the corner of a two day low, but, generally the change is physical and mental. I consider myself a ‘can do’ person now, at least in some areas of my life. That is a big change for me.

    Great post, thanks!

  6. Yes great post. I found it on a day I really needed it. Been looking at all the bad things and not the good ones. I have to be positive . Thanks for the wake up call. I love to read your posts.

  7. Sarcastic and Cynical? Yup, I’m all over that. Great post, and many things to think about. I have gotten so good at witty quick comebacks, and while some of them are definitely funny ( at least to me, because I find myself hilarious) and not hurtful, some are definitely bordering on mean-spirited or not positive, towards myself or others.

    Is what I’m coming back with funny and light hearted, or is it rude/cynical/defensive/etc hiding behind a “joke”.

    Good thoughts Good thoughts.

  8. Now that’s what i call being practically positive. .A POST that changes the way you look at your PAST.. kudos. .

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