The Past is the Past

Revisiting the Past & Reprioritizing

Last week I traveled back to the East Coast for the first time since I moved to Phoenix, Arizona almost three years ago and 125 pounds ago.  It was a wonderful trip.  I saw many old and dear friends, former coworkers, drinking buddies, and schoolmates.  I accepted many compliments on my weight loss as graciously as I could muster.  Many people commented that I was taller- which is clearly just perception but an interesting one.  Looking at myself in all the unfamiliar mirrors of hotel rooms and places I hadn’t visited in years definitely gave me a new perspective on what I look like now.  I am tall and thin.  This still has quite seeped all the way into my brain, but I suppose that is to be expected.  I was surprised to see myself in my old context and my new body.

It isn’t only my body that is different now.  This trip made me keenly aware of how changed everything is for me now from my attitude to my mental health.  Several very dear friends commented that I have a sort of glow about me of having figured something out, and I believe this to be true.  My life is so much better now than it was then.  So even though I do occasionally have the usual yearning for the wild and crazy days of my twenties, I know that I am in a much better place now.  The thirties are rocking so far and I can’t wait to see what’s next.

Travel always has an effect on me.  I can look at my life from a slightly different perspective and it gives me an adjusted outlook.  This trip definitely affected me.  I realized what my priorities truly are and there are some major changes coming in my life I will share soon, but not just yet.

I’m discontinuing following Jamie Eason’s Live Fit Trainer.  It’s a great program and I’m sure it is very effective.  In fact, today I weigh 161 lb after maintaining 163-167 for many months and I’m positive that has something to do with the changes I made while following the program for 3 weeks.  However, when I really stopped and thought about it, I realized that I do not want to lift weights 6 days a week as the program demands starting in week 5.  My head is in a different place.  I really and truly am quite happy with my body as it is and I do not feel the need to put that much focus on my body composition.  I’m healthy.  I’m a healthy weight.  I have too many other things I’m interested in to spend that much time on this right now. I don’t want to be a fitness competitor.  My body really doesn’t need to be my main focus at the moment.

There may come a point in my life where I want to focus in like that, but today is not it.  I am glad I tried the eating portion of the plan and I am going to continue the 6 meals a day eating pattern.  I love second breakfast and second lunch!  It really energized me to divide my meals up that way.

I’m also going to continue weight-lifting, something I found I enjoyed a lot more than I expected.  But instead of a 6 day a week intense training schedule, I asked my boyfriend to help me develop a three day weight-lifting program.  My plan is to follow that 3 days a week, leaving me plenty of time to focus on what really interests me right now: yoga.

I realized that I was being very ambitious thinking I would follow such an intense training program AND keep practicing yoga AND writing a book AND keeping up my blog AND my Facebook page, AND working overtime, AND shopping, cooking… the list goes on.  I have the idea sometimes that I can do everything, but it isn’t true.  I’m human and I need some “me” time that isn’t dedicated to all these activities.  I feel relieved already by freeing up my schedule this way.  I mean, I have 5 yoga books sitting beside me right now.  It’s clearly the thing I’m the most interested in at the moment.

Overall, I’m feeling incredibly grateful even though it’s been such a stressful couple of weeks, my life is so good.  I’m healthy, I’m happy, I have a well paying job that is sometimes fun and rewarding although frustrating at times, an amazing boyfriend who has been with me for 5 years, and just a lot of things going for me.  Revisiting my old life definitely made an impact on how I feel about my new one.  So onward and upward!  I may look back occasionally with a bit of nostalgia, but I’m not going backward.  I’m going forward and looking ahead to the next wonderful changes that will be coming soon.

10 thoughts on “Revisiting the Past & Reprioritizing

  1. Oh man, I really wish I’d realized this same thing before I committed to running a Marathon. I was feeling bad about turning 40 and figured I’d run a half for 39 and a full for 40. I hate the training. I mean HATE it! It totally drains me for the day. I don’t want to do my volunteer work. I don’t want to go kayaking… Just lay in bed and hope the hubs brings me food.

    Good call in knowing what’s really important to you and how to keep balanced!

    1. Well, is it too late to change your mind? I think there’s no shame in changing your mind if it isn’t working for you. Hope you find a way to re-balance!

  2. Good for you! I recently subscribed to your blog so i apologize if I missed the answers somewhere else. About a year and a half ago I lost 45 lbs needles to say it is crawling back. I have gained 20 of it back 😦 I can’t seem to get a handle on portion size again! How do you divide up into 6 meals. This seems interesting and like it may work for me! Thanks

    1. I basically eat a very early breakfast before I leave the house, around 7 am or earlier. Then I eat another breakfast around 9 or 10, whenever I feel hungry. These are small meals, like cottage cheese and fruit or hot cereal and nuts or something similar. Then I eat a smaller lunch than I used to eat and I eat a second lunch around 2 or 3. So that’s 4 meals. Then I eat dinner, which is usually right after my workout and finally, I eat a small meal before bed, like greek yogurt with peanut butter or something similar. I like this because it keeps me full all the time and I’m never so hungry I want to eat a huge meal. I think it works great!

  3. I think you constantly have to be evaluating your priorities in life- it’s so easy to continue doing certain things out of habit or because you think you should. It can go on indefinitely before you realize that the things you’re spending your time on are no longer fulfilling or important to you. Glad you got some good perspective on your trip- life’s too short!

  4. First lunch, second lunch…. Are you a fan of The Office? When Pam was pregnant, she and Kevin had a similar plan. Only yours is the healthy version. 😉

    It’s so great to see you so realistic and grounded! I’m amped for your book!

  5. What a great post. I think maturity allows us to recognize that we can’t do everything and therefore we have to prioritize and sometimes that means eliminating things as well. I know I’ve learned that balance is something I need to maintain. Great Post. Thanks.

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