Today is April 30 and that means it’s the last day of the No Weigh In April challenge. The last time I stepped on the scale it was March 31 and I weighed 169 pounds.
Tomorrow I plan to weigh myself. I decided it was important to write this post before I then so I can see if my feelings change when I see “the number”.
I don’t think my weight has changed this month. All my clothes fit the same as they always have. I don’t know about you, but my clothes don’t fit the same every day. Most of my jeans are a little too tight when they come out of the dryer and a little too loose after I wear them for a few days. I experience “bloating” around my menstrual cycle. I think my size actually does fluctuate a little day-to-day.
There are also mental fluctuations. I definitely have “fat days” and “thin days” that really have nothing to do with my body but are dependent upon my state of mind. If something is upsetting me, I will often “feel fat”. And when I am happy and energetic, I will often “feel thin”. And it is these fluctuations that most made me miss the scale this month. I use the scale to confirm that these fluctuations are mental and I have not in fact gained or lost enough weight to make any difference.
I’m not concerned about gaining weight overnight. I know it doesn’t work that way. I eat very well and I exercise. If I am eating more calories than my body needs, I am sure it is in a pretty small amount. So what I am concerned with is gaining weight slowly over time and not noticing it. Since my perception of my body does not seem to be entirely based in reality, I think that’s a very real possibility of something that could happen if I don’t keep paying attention. It’s happened before.
I didn’t have any trouble staying away from the scale this month. Hardly thought about it at all, honestly. And to me, this signals that I really am okay with it. I don’t feel that not knowing changed my habits much.
I think this was a really useful experiment, and I am glad I did it. From reading others’ comments, I realized that a lot of people do put a lot more meaning into this scale number than I do. I do not base my self-worth on my weight. That was one of the major lessons I taught myself while changing my lifestyle. I am even okay with gaining weight, if it’s muscle. I’m not tied to a number. Heck, I accept that I weigh (about) 170 pounds. For a woman, that is not easy. I think I have a really healthy relationship with my weight number. I understand that my weight fluctuates and it is normal to me.
I miss the data. What can I say, I like graphs, charts, and math. I like numbers. I miss using my weight to predict my menstrual cycle. Darn thing snuck up on me this month! Just like I like looking at how many miles are on my car, or how much data is stored on my computer’s hard drive, or how many page-views I have had on my blog, I like tracking my daily weight.
At least that’s how I feel about it today. If I start weighing myself again and notice any difference in how I feel about it or myself, I’ll re-evaluate. As of now, I plan to go back to weighing myself daily starting tomorrow. I wrote a blog post about why I do that, and it holds true for me today.
I think different tools work for different people. This is a tool that works for me at the moment. I don’t need it, and it isn’t the end all be all of everything, but it’s available to me and I will use all the tools I can get to help me maintain my weight loss and lifestyle change.