Last Tuesday, I hit my head. The story behind this injury is pretty stupid. Nothing exciting. Not exercise related. No car accident. Basically, I fainted and fell on my head. I’m not sure if I hit the wall or the door frame or the floor, but whatever it was, it caused the lovely Harry Potter-esque wound as well as a
probable definite concussion.
Here’s what happened. I have low blood pressure and sometimes feel dizzy when I stand up quickly. This is usually quite manageable because if I feel like that, I just sit back down for a few seconds until it passes and then everything is fine and dandy. I’ve discussed this with multiple doctors and they always tell me that I should just stand up more slowly. Ha! Easier said than done. I have fainted from this in the past, but it has been a long time. The last time I passed out, I was 19, working at Pizza Hut, carrying a pan pizza to a table. How mortifying!
Last weekend, I worked all weekend from home. I worked 10 hours Saturday, 10 hours Sunday, and 8 hours Monday (labor day). Monday night I was exhausted and a bit angry that I spent my whole holiday weekend working. I had 2 strong drinks that evening.
Around 5 am on Tuesday, I was asleep in my comfy bed when I heard the sound of the cat hacking something up in the other room. I immediately hopped out of bed to ensure the cat wasn’t going to throw up in my shoe again. The last thing I remember is standing in the doorway between my bedroom and hallway and watching the cat. The next thing I remember, my boyfriend was upset and trying to wake me up off the floor. It was dark and he got me up and back to the bed. I touched my face and it was wet. I’ll spare you the gory details, but there was a lot of blood. Head wounds tend to bleed a lot apparently, or so the ER people told me.
They glued me back together and sent me on my merry way. Obviously, I did not go to work that day. I also did not go to work the next day. But Thursday and Friday, I stupidly went to work. Work is super extremely stressful and busy right now. Even before any of this, I was feeling overwhelmed and stressed. Working was too difficult. I should not have done it. By Friday, I felt even worse than I had on Tuesday. So now, I’m resting. I’m recovering. I’m basically sitting on the couch doing nothing.
It’s funny. This used to be how I spent every weekend, sitting around watching TV and doing nothing. But yesterday, I cried about it. I don’t want to sit on my ass doing nothing! I want to go to the farmers market and go to the gym and clean and swim and go shopping and cook. Waaaah! Woe is me. My boyfriend is helping, but it sucks. I am so independent, I hate to not be able to do things. However, I know that I knocked my head pretty good and I definitely have all the symptoms of a concussion.
I have very little appetite and nothing really sounds appealing to me. Yesterday, I was nauseated after everything I ate, even if it tasted good at the moment. I have a headache. And when we went to the grocery store yesterday, I felt pretty much awful the whole time. Today I’m not going to do anything. Writing this blog is the most difficult thing I plan to do today. I do feel better today and I’m not messing with it.
I’m not weighing myself and trying not to think about my weight at the moment. I can’t do anything about it, so whatever will be will be. Still, this is somewhat difficult but I know it’s the right thing to do right now and I’ll deal with whatever the result is when I am 100% healed. This is the first time I’ve been injured since I started my lifestyle change almost 4 years ago. I guess I’m pretty lucky! It’s definitely easier to deal with now than it would have been even 1 year ago because I know that 1 week or 1 month or however long it takes to feel better is not the end of the world. Yes, I am irritated that I can’t do the things I normally do like working out and cooking. But I don’t feel guilty or like I’m doing anything wrong it’s just frustrating. I know that even 1 year ago, this would have been accompanied by guilt for sitting all day. I am much more compassionate with myself than I used to be.
This also has me contemplating some things in my life. My job is a major source of stress and anxiety for me most of the time. When I went into being a graphic artist and animator, I had no idea I would end up with a career where I am on call practically 24/7 and everything is an emergency. I’m not sure I’m really cut out for it. There are things I really love about my job. I feel important, I get a lot of praise, I know I am very good at it and it is challenging and always different and never boring. I adore my boss and am extremely loyal to him. But there is a lot that I do not like. I don’t think it’s wise to talk about it in detail online. I know that sometimes I put my job before my health, and I know that isn’t right. I’m not sure if it can be changed. There is no work-life balance. This is what I am expected to do to succeed, kill myself working.
I don’t entirely blame my job for this injury, but it was definitely a part of why I passed out. This week, I am entirely on vacation and I’m traveling to my father’s wedding for a few days. I turned on my out of office auto reply and disconnected my email from my iPhone. I have never had an uninterrupted vacation from this job in over 6 years. That’s just not right. I’m going to try putting my foot down and see what the result will be. I feel a little guilty for laying a huge pile of work on my coworkers, but I don’t feel like there’s any choice. I need a break. A real break. Not answering emails from the beach like my last vacation.
So, that’s what’s up with me lately. I hesitated to post about this too much because I tend to get frustrated when people try to give me medical advice over the Internet. I really do appreciate the concern, but I think the only person who should diagnose and give medical advice is a doctor, medical professional or at least someone who knows me personally. I’m resting, I’m healing, I’m doing what I should do (now). So don’t worry about me, I’ll live. Even if I end up with a scar, I think it’s actually a kind of cool place to have a scar. And if I don’t feel better, I’ll cancel my trip and go back to the doctor and I will figure it out. Taking advice is so hard for me. I always hear it as “you don’t know what you’re doing so clearly you need me to tell you.” Which I do realize is ridiculous and a product of my stubborn bull-headed nature, not a reflection on anyone else.
Well, back to laying around watching TV. I hope to be back to my usual self soon, but I will use my patience because I’m guessing it may take longer than I would like.
This is a picture of my injury the day it happened and now. It’s getting better! The glue is totally off and it seems to be healing well.